It was late one night and I didn’t feel too much for sleeping. I wanted to do it but my mind was turning upside down and inside out and then around and around. I turned on the television and thought I’d do that thing people do which they call watching T.V. I flicked through the channels like Netflix wasn’t a thing. I didn’t find much I cared to see, and I remembered Netflix was a thing, so I turned it on and scrolled endlessly with nothing but indecision. I walked to the kitchen and poured myself some juice, the juice was blue, which isn’t a color I used to associate with being drinkable but it was supposed to be blue. I’m not talking purple-blue like blueberries or grapes, I’m talking cobalt blue. I’ve dreamt of such a color being thirst quenching but it only ever existed in slush puppies but this was no artificial abomination, this was made of fruit and other things that are supposed to be healthy like spirulina, whatever the fuck that is. I poured myself this juice and settled in to watch a movie but I couldn’t decide on the perfect movie to watch, some movies were too long, some I’d never seen but I didn’t want to waste my time, some I’d seen and wanted to see again but I didn’t know my mood, did I want a comedy or a drama? Where was I when I first saw the movie? I thought about watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kidbecause I love that movie but I watched it one morning in bed with a girl I cared for and didn’t want to be reminded of her, I thought about watching Uncut Gems because I’d seen it once and wanted to watch it again now I knew the outcome and could relax a little. I thought about re-watching Da 5 Bloodsbecause I’ve always loved anything Spike Lee but I kept replaying the first time I met him in my head and the fool I made out of myself. I figured I needed a comedy to ease my mind a little, Pineapple Express made me think of the weed I didn’t have, The Hangover had me thinking about seeing it in the theatre not knowing what to expect and laughing my ass off, so much so I saw it a bunch more times with the girl I was seeing, I thought about going back in time to my favorite comedy as a teenager but the final scene of The Wedding Singer always made me cry. I couldn’t cry in a desperate drama or in real life but for some reason the final song in The Wedding Singer got me every time and we were back to Adam Sandler and I wasn’t in the mood for crying. After flicking through the T.V. then through Netflix and scrolling through my DVDs I decided to watch one of my favorite comedies See No Evil Hear No Evil. I wish I got the chance to meet Richard Pryor but I’m glad I got the chance to meet Gene Wilder. I was too busy being struck with awe but he’d seen it before and started asking me questions before I could gather words to ask him one. I’m not usually starstruck but it’s happened on a couple of occasions, Spike Lee was one and Gene Wilder was the other. He asked where I was from, I said the North of England and he spoke about his love of the North of England till I stopped shaking. So I figured I’d watch See No Evil Hear No Evil for the millionth time but I’d finished my blue juice and thought I’d have a cigarette before watching the movie I’d finally decided upon. Whilst I was outside smoking I started thinking about words and the words Venom in my Bloodstreamcame to me and I thought I could make a poem out of that. So I poured myself a glass of Woodford Reserve and got to work, I’m still waiting to re-watch See No Evil Hear No Evil.


Venom in my bloodstream

Death to the false dream

I had when I was a child

Maybe the world is as it seems

Poison in my body

Pour me a hot toddy

It’s cold out in the wild

What once was fine has now grown shoddy

Nightshade against my lips

Only need to take a sip

She left me beguiled

When she fell through my fingertips

Strychnine in my head

Lay me down in my bed

Leave the telephone un-dialed

Let me do some livin’ ‘fore I’m dead

Pesticides float around my brain

Like a runaway train

A time when we both smiled

Before we’d both lost more than we could gain